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Horror Academy Quote List (Abridged)

Finally got around to typing this up. Yes, in between pummeling, stabbing, shooting and biting one another onstage, this was the sort of thing going on backstage. (Names withheld to protect the guilty.)



Yeah, it smells like gunpowder. Because it is.

So, a tiny moment of horrification. *beat* That sounded dirtier than I meant it to.

How would you move if you were sucking on something?

Ooh, look, blood!
-- In any other context that would be a very alarming statement.

Maureen: The other white meat.

Do you want to do a line or should I?
-- Why don't you both do a line? Wait, that didn't sound right.

Tumble tumble tumble thump.
-- In pain, in pain.

My name is Cassandra Weiss.
-- I don't care.
-- I know, but I have to do this monologue.

I'm too old to be Buffy. And not horny enough to be Anita Blake.

Play! Play! Act, monkeys!
-- Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
-- Ack! No! Vampire monkey!

Fire in the hole!
-- *click*
-- Nuh-uh.

If I put my hands in my pockets, my "fuck" will come off.

I poke here, and what happens? She feels nothing.
-- Hate. I feel hate.

What did I say? The blood goes on the tarp, or no mouth blood pack.

She just rockets into me and suddenly I start gushing blood.

If I die, I'll come back and give you sex advice. During.

You're going to need to be more usher-y. Even if it's an Usher of the DAMNED.

As long as we've got the blood, we might as well show the blood.
-- Jazz hands!

I'm sorry. Eventually I had to slay you.

Where's the trust? You let me swing a broadsword at your head!
-- You didn't know me then. And I was paying for that.

I want all my friends to come see the teeny tiny woman climb up me and kill me dead.

It's a good thing I'm limber. If I were my mother, that would have hurt me a lot.
-- If you were your mother, that would be scientifically impossible.

Give her water, stat!
-- No. We don't drink that stuff. Fish swim in it.
-- You know that Diet Coke is made of water, right?
-- Nuh-uh. It's made of brown.

That happened during Girl in the Iron Mask too. Suddenly my crotch is somewhere else.

Now it's all just a game to me of "Where will Claudia's brains end up tonight?"

I just like the phrase "You could dip your nipple."

I'm okay. It's just every once in a while, the brain says "Swallow," and the epiglottis says "Huh?"

Who's the sweetest little vampire ever? I am! I am!

I like to suffer for my art.
-- Well, you're in the right place.

I'm actually growing mine back.
-- Your tits?

No. You cannot pay me enough to take a tweezers to sombody's ass hairs. I'm sorry. You just can't... If I could choose the person whose ass hairs I'd be plucking... Nope. Nope.

My tiara scene or my blood scene?


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 30th, 2007 09:27 pm (UTC)
Okay, and now I'm regretting even more that I'm far too much of a horror wimp to have seen this show. < snerk >
Nov. 30th, 2007 09:30 pm (UTC)
Well, we did bring the funny onstage to a certain extent, but all this stuff was out of public view.

At Rosebriar, the rule of thumb was "the higher the body count onstage, the siller the quotelist backstage." Hamlet was off the hook. ;-D
Dec. 1st, 2007 08:09 am (UTC)
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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