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BIRD.

Stop flying down our chimney. You get stuck in the house, you freak out, everybody has a bad day. Especially brainiacfive, who has had to catch/herd you out the window all but one of the half-dozen times (including two separate incidences of twice in one day; today there was a gap of only about an hour) this has happened this spring. STOP.

I've only seen it once, so I have no basis for comparison, but brainiacfive swears it looks like the same bird every time, or at least the same kind. Which of course would make sense if the idiots are nesting on our chimney. (Since we have high ceilings and run out of ladder a couple feet below our second-floor bedroom window, and there's a full-height attic above that before you get to the roof, there's no practical way to check on that theory.) The day I shooed it out the second-floor bathroom window, it did appear to be the same kind of bird that mysteriously appeared in the dining room a couple years ago.

The chimney theory is only a theory, incidentally. Since the appearances mostly seem to start in the basement, and the only way we can think of that they're getting there is down the chimney and out the boiler hood. This was the theory I came up with when I found three dead baby birds (one of them, of all places, floating in the catch bucket of the dehumidifier, which it had to slip through a ~2-inch gap to even get into!) in the basement our second year in the house. That was a freaky discovery, lemme tell ya. But also supports the "nest in ill-advised location" hypothesis.

I do not understand. And dude, the house has been right here for 104 years. It's not like it suddenly appeared on their migration route and confused them.

I. Just.

BIRD.

Comments

( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
maiac
May. 24th, 2012 09:11 pm (UTC)
Your "paging alfred hitchcock" tag made me laugh, but I sympathize with your dilemma of how to keep birds Out.Of.The.House.
wiliqueen
May. 24th, 2012 09:18 pm (UTC)
I'm both amused and exasperated that the situation warrants a tag. With several entries!
maiac
May. 24th, 2012 09:29 pm (UTC)
I remembered the earlier entries, even. Though I thought they were more recent than that. I suspect I spent one of the intervening years dead for tax purposes.

On another topic entirely, have you seen this? (Hat tip to filkertom.)
wiliqueen
May. 24th, 2012 09:31 pm (UTC)
I saw his post, but I'm just now looking at the pictures. Thanks!
ariestess
May. 25th, 2012 01:38 am (UTC)
That is crazy! We had one juvenile flicker in our downstairs fireplace in our first or second year in this house, but nothing since.
wiliqueen
May. 25th, 2012 11:51 am (UTC)
Isolated incidents I understand, but this is just... brain damage or something!
ariestess
May. 25th, 2012 02:32 pm (UTC)
*nods* yeah, no kidding!
cjmr
May. 25th, 2012 10:33 am (UTC)
Can you have a chimney cap put on?

We have them on both our chimneys. They look like a large mesh box and get mortared on to the top of the stack.

They keep bats out, too, which is why we have them.

Edited at 2012-05-25 10:33 am (UTC)
wiliqueen
May. 25th, 2012 11:51 am (UTC)
Probably. I wonder if it didn't have one that got dislodged somehow or something.

It involves paying someone to get up on our very high roof, of course, which is the fun part.
yeopard
May. 29th, 2012 10:34 pm (UTC)
I don't think the cost is that exorbitant. When I had my house remodeled, I had one put on both the existing chimney and the one for the new wood burning fireplace. You'll be glad you did when you no longer have BIRD in HOUSE.
wiliqueen
May. 30th, 2012 12:13 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm sure we will. And I don't expect it to be exorbitant, just, y'know, a cost for which we have not planned. I'm sure we'll get to it eventually.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )

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