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Are you a good Witch or a bad Witch?

Lately, I have to admit, not much of a Witch at all. Not entirely sure how that happened... Well, yes I am, but I'll get to that in a minute.

I was going to make this post friends-only, not because I'm ashamed of my beliefs (for those keeping score, Universalist in belief, Wiccan in practice -- or out of practice, as the case may be), but simply because I have better things to do with my time and energy than defend them. And unfortunately, we still live in a world where that's likely to become necessary if one mentions some of the words I'm going to be mentioning in a public forum. That said, tho, I'm not vain enough to think that my LJ is that public, in the sense that I think very very very few people actually pay any attention to it. And since a few of those few are buds who've opted not to have LJs of their own, and whom I cannot therefore friend, and I think they'd be interested, public it is.

Yesterday, someone who's listened patiently to me bemoaning the current state of my professional/creative life asked if I'd done job magic, as in specifically asking for something. Which, of course, I haven't. I haven't done much specific in...oh, probably two years. Part of it comes from being solitary. Which is very much by choice, in avoidance of the politicking to which the pagan community is no more immune than any other, and which can put a huge honkin' damper on anybody's relationship with the Divine. I've never been a member of a standing coven, nor have I felt the need to, though I understand the advantages for those who choose that path. There's a routine, a framework, people to kick you in the butt when you're being lazy. All the same reasons people value any organized religion (including some of the not-so-positive ones, but that's a different topic). When you're solitary, there's still the framework -- seasons are seasons, the moon is the moon -- but it's all too easy to let formal observances drop off the priority list.

I've never been in the habit of doing specific-purpose rituals like job magic, at least not for/by myself. But I've let even simple centering and energy-flow stuff fall completely by the wayside, and I hadn't even realized until recently how much it's showing. I had realized how out of touch I'd become with the cycles that create the framework. It was crystallized for me a couple weeks back on a particularly nutso Irrational Debtor Day when a sup asked if it was a full moon, and I didn't know. Time was I kept track of stuff like that without thinking about it. But it took yesterday's simple question, of whether I'd specifically asked the Universe for what I've been wanting so badly, to remind me that losing track of the patterns -- of my way of plugging into the larger cosmos -- really does take its toll.

Not, incidentally, that I believe those patterns to be the One True Way of plugging in. But they are the one that has always made the most sense to me at an intuitive level, and it sure as hell doesn't work to drop them without putting something in their place, and I'm not in the market for that anyway.

So, my buds are hereby licensed, and in fact encouraged, to function as my Coven-in-Fact and boot my sorry butt into keeping better spiritual house.

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
bktheirregular
Aug. 9th, 2003 01:11 am (UTC)
I'd gladly volunteer, but my attunement in spiritual issues are such that I'd put you at risk of getting hit with a lightning bolt or a meteorite or a piece of ice coming off a 747 at 35,000 feet...

Though I might be better than Oral Roberts at that.
wiliqueen
Aug. 9th, 2003 02:13 am (UTC)
*snarfle* The thought is appreciated.
cheekygal
Aug. 9th, 2003 01:56 am (UTC)
I'll help you if you help me...

My life just gets so hectic most of the time, and stays that way, that even the simplest of exercises has pretty much been given up at the moment. Magic? Mental discipline? Even noticing the changing seasons? Hah! Who has the time?

The one thing I've been trying to accomplish by doing more work in the garden and trying to be more self-sufficient and environmentally conscious in my daily decisions is bring myself more in tune with my surroundings. It's helping just a tiny bit, but I feel like I could be doing more.

But I guess the idea isn't to do more, but to do things differently. Perhaps (hopefully!) I'm on the way there. And you'll get there as well, when the time is right for you.

Take time to appreciate yourself.
wiliqueen
Aug. 9th, 2003 02:24 am (UTC)
My life just gets so hectic most of the time, and stays that way, that even the simplest of exercises has pretty much been given up at the moment.

How very, very familiar. *wry g*

The one thing I've been trying to accomplish by doing more work in the garden

*tries word on for size* Gar-den. One of those things I've been meaning to try my historically black thumb at since we bought the house four years ago, right? ;-)

But I guess the idea isn't to do more, but to do things differently.

To do more while doing less, I think. I've been trying in a general way to figure out how to do that for well over a year, when really I already had one and have been completely ignoring it. It's called focus, and I have tried-and-true ways of achieving it that I haven't been practicing. Spend time to make time. And a few other cliches along those lines.

Take time to appreciate yourself.

Always, always the key. {{{hugs}}} Thanks!
(Deleted comment)
wiliqueen
Aug. 9th, 2003 03:51 am (UTC)
I've generally considered the Horsechicks my coven

{nods} You guys plus a couple other folks. I hadn't ever thought of it as such, but it's true.

I've got a green candle lit on my altar

I've never even completely set mine up in this house. *sigh*

We also attended a Samhain ritual almost two years ago

Last Circle I was in with other people was blessing the space the night before one "virtual coven" member's wedding almost three years ago. Last time I did a true, call-the-quarters anything on my own was...sometime since then, but I don't recall exactly when.

already eclectic enough being a Christian/Pagan (which puts a few backs up, I've been told

Have seen it, unfortunately. :-( The "Christianity is the source of all pain and suffering" crap that laces pretty much the full gamut of the pagan community is a big reason why I don't seek out more local types. I pop into Salem West or Mystical Doorway now and again, and am friendly with their respective proprietors, but I don't go to open Circles or even the Witches' Ball (although I've been meaning to do the latter one of these years). Again, I have you guys. It serves, possibly better than wading into a subculture that a lot of people use to insulate themselves from the rest of the world. :-/

Hmmmm. Wow. This comment turned out to be about me rather than you.

'Sokay. Liked reading it.

I'll kick your butt if you kick mine, and we can get all spiritual together

Deal. :-)
diannelamerc
Aug. 9th, 2003 07:51 am (UTC)
And I'm even more guilty of this... because I notice the framework cycling by and never actually get around to *doing* anything about it. :-/

I just looked at my altar... and it's embarassingly dusty....

Count me in with the you-kick-mine-and-I'll-kick-yours plan!
wiliqueen
Aug. 10th, 2003 08:47 pm (UTC)
I just looked at my altar... and it's embarassingly dusty....

So, that'd be literal housekeeping issues in your case? ;->
swirling_poetry
Aug. 9th, 2003 04:35 am (UTC)
Don't feel too bad. One of my big items on my to do list was to start attending spiritual services. I haven't done that once. I'm a Unitarian Universalist, but I love attending Sabbath Synagouge services. I feel a really deep conection through the Hebrew singing. I was gung-ho about finding a place to go, and never did.

I was also gung-ho about going to my local UU church to make some friends and never did.

I just realized how much I miss services. I only went for a month in Chicago, but I loved it. I don't want to become Jewish, but I really adore the spiritual chanting.

Anyway...this isn't about me, it's about you. I am more than willing to help you out. I'm fascinated by Wicca, and would like to learn more about it. I've always believed in asking the universe for things. I just didn't know it was magical.

I just thought about something my friend Bob said. He's an actor, and he said the reason he got into the buisness is that acting is extremely zen-like. It's all about being in the current moment. I know you're done with the movie shoot, but maybe the next role you get, you could focus on that concept. Maybe that could lead to a bigger spiritual push.

And then again, maybe I am full of crap. :o)
wiliqueen
Aug. 10th, 2003 12:05 pm (UTC)
I just realized how much I miss services. I only went for a month in Chicago, but I loved it. I don't want to become Jewish, but I really adore the spiritual chanting.

I'll go with you sometime once I get up there. And remind me to buy/burn you Ruth Wieder Magan's Songs to the Invisible God. Exceptionally lovely.

He's an actor, and he said the reason he got into the buisness is that acting is extremely zen-like. It's all about being in the current moment. I know you're done with the movie shoot, but maybe the next role you get, you could focus on that concept. Maybe that could lead to a bigger spiritual push.

{nods} That's actually a big part of what I'm missing right now, unfortunately -- the chaos of almost every production I've done in the last several years has really undercut it. It's still there in little moments, but so overwhelmed by the attendant crap. :-/ It's caused me to learn the hard way that I need something separate from acting to serve that purpose -- I got too dependent on it as my primary outlet.
butterflykiki
Aug. 9th, 2003 04:58 am (UTC)
There's a routine, a framework, people to kick you in the butt when you're being lazy. All the same reasons people value any organized religion (including some of the not-so-positive ones, but that's a different topic). When you're solitary, there's still the framework -- seasons are seasons, the moon is the moon -- but it's all too easy to let formal observances drop off the priority list.

Boy, do I hear this. I keep saying I need to find another church - that I actually miss having some spirituality as a regular part of my life - but I keep letting it slip. Granted, my life's been hectic, but there's been a lot of empty space the last couple months too. And I know it could've been something to help me through the uncertain spaces here.

I'm with Lizbet: I'll help kick you guys, if you kick me. My idea of spirituality is so free-form from week to week - the Catholic church, going out to nature, or writing poetry - that *anything* that's about being outside my head should count. And yeah, the Horsechicks are my 'coven' too, in some ways; especially with how things work with tarot-card readings and keeping me sane. :>

*hugs*
deire
Aug. 9th, 2003 06:11 am (UTC)
Willing to join the list of I'll help kick your butt if you'll help kick mine!
wiliqueen
Aug. 10th, 2003 08:43 pm (UTC)
{nods sagely} So we're agreed: Mutual kicking all round.
evil_overlord
Aug. 9th, 2003 06:09 am (UTC)
I'm not as familiar with Pagan Politics [good lord, does that look giggly. ^_^], but so far when Mom has had contact with others [once in Salem and once at a *convention*. *G*] she said it was all about "My way is better than *your* way!" or, in the case of when we were in Salem, it was two different shop owners bickering over who was more Pagan. O_o This, of course, annoyed her greatly, and I don't blame her. ^_^

I could volunteer to poke you, but I don't do *anything* myself, so wouldn't that be a tad hypocritical? "Here, you do this, even if I don't!" Ah well, it'll be helping out a friend, right? ^_^
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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