This was a world premiere of what I still think is quite a good play, but which as far as I know hasn't been performed since. Pity. Anyway, it might be a bit less fun for that, since it's backstage of a show that only a couple people reading this saw. (And of course finabair and amilyn joined me on the Whirlwind One-Afternoon John Wilkes Booth Tour of D.C. Which was much more fun than trying to pick them up at the wrong airport at midnight.)

These Honorable Men: The Life and Death of John Wilkes Booth Quote List
Rosebriar Shakespeare Company, 1995

After some acting happens on page 77, you'll cross back to center.

Hood. Noose. Hood. Noose. Hood. Noose. Hood. Noose.

Suddenly I have a toga!

Sorry. I have a mind like a steel sieve tonight.

Junius, try to take as many drinks as you can.

My actors are going to Toronto, and my costumes are going to England.

Can we keep that?
-- I did it on purpose.
-- Uh-huh.

It's a meeting of marshmallows!

If you hear screams, don't open the door.

Hoop wars!

Well, he said incestuous...now all I need is a cigarette.

That King Lear thing.
-- Wanna play spin-the-bottle?

I have another toast!
-- No, you don't.
-- Oh. Not yet.

Line.
-- I'm at a loss for words, Mr. Lincoln.
-- Got that right.

Boingy, boingy, boingy!

We'll take it from where the bench goes yabba-dabba-doo.

So I take care of the sin and then do the rolling-over thing.

Can you gimme the carvin' knahf lahn?

The Tai Chi Belch!

Sorry...I keep looking at your Tweety bird.

You usually grab me here.

Is that the slight man?

Let's take this scene from the top again.
-- Why?

What will happen to the Pwesident once we get him to Wichmond?
-- Weww...

Richey...feel the power of the Dark Side.

From the start of the rebellion he was a Confederate thympathither.

I was in five states today. What's your excuse?

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

Ehh. Drool on the donkey and go home.
-- That's how I sum up that play.

Yarn?
-- Yarn?
-- Yarn?

If a Kabuki witch from hell snapped at your nose, you'd shut up too.

I could have danced all night...
-- Not bloody likely.

Have you noticed, though, that pennies multiply and dollars divide?

It's hard to get people to take you seriously when your hair is going boing-boing-boing.

Luuuuuuucy! You got some 'splainin' to do!

First rule of the theatre: don't try on pants that aren't yours.

Do I look like Laura Ingalls yet?
-- Do I look like Nellie Olesen yet?

They won't stop!
-- What won't stop?
-- The men. Being men.

Developmentally disabled hoop.

Remember: President Lincoln didn't die in vain. He died in Washington, D.C.

BANG!!!!!!

With Brian helping, we really got that dress off you fast.

Oh, there's my nightgown. I already took it off.

Where are you going with that puff?

I was the only one around who knew how to use spirit gum without killing anyone.

He says I have to pay for my women!

Asia can't breathe, Mr. Booth! She has a hole in her head!

Superman's Sex Life Boogie!

Zach has white stuff on his face. Figure that one out.

I'm ready for my closeup.

You better get out here, Lucy. Johnny's proposing to Stanton.

If you're gonna f*** up, f*** up with conviction!

They're digging you up again, did you hear?

I'm hearing voices.
-- There's medication for that.

What time is it? What day is it? What century is it?

Work that fan, Lucy!

This just in from L.A.: they found O.J. Simpson's DNA in John Wilkes Booth's coffin.

How do you hang firewood?
-- I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how Seward got stabbed in that carriage accident.